You said there was no broom in the office. I saw four in the pantry. I worked hard trying to bring you to the top of the food chain. But no. You have to lie about the broom. You did't even bother to reword the word broom. In fact, you could have called'em the hairy things and I would have been less disgusted.
Remember when I called you into my room? I was actually planning to wash my car. But no. I gave up washing my car because I had to talk to you. And what did I tell you? I said I was going to be very frank didn't I? I said I have the feeling right from the beginning that you are not going to make it. And God am I not right? You don't even pretend to work when I am around. And I said if I could I do it all over, I would have done a better background check on you before you are hired. And what did I say after that? Huh? No! Before I told you about my work anxiety.
Oh did I tell you about my weird dream? The one when I took out the trash and wash my car? And after I washed my car and I took out the trash again. I find it very frustrating when my own people do not dream like the way I do.
Did I also not tell you that I may have to asked you to leave? As you can see I get a lot of pleasure making you scared. But you seemed happy. My bad. I should have jumped at you when you walked in to my room.
Long story short, every mistake you make is another good reason to fire you.
What did I say? That is to help you. To be on your toes. Which I don't know exactly how. But I am glad I could end this conversation with a note of optimism. Somehow.
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