When Your Boss Decided To Nag On Your Blog

You said there was no broom in the office. I saw four in the pantry. I worked hard trying to bring you to the top of the food chain. But no. You have to lie about the broom. You did't even bother to reword the word broom. In fact, you could have called'em the hairy things and I would have been less disgusted.

Remember when I called you into my room? I was actually planning to wash my car. But no. I gave up washing my car because I had to talk to you. And what did I tell you? I said I was going to be very frank didn't I? I said I have the feeling right from the beginning that you are not going to make it. And God am I not right? You don't even pretend to work when I am around. And I said if I could I do it all over, I would have done a better background check on you before you are hired. And what did I say after that? Huh? No! Before I told you about my work anxiety.

Oh did I tell you about my weird dream? The one when I took out the trash and wash my car? And after I washed my car and I took out the trash again. I find it very frustrating when my own people do not dream like the way I do.

Did I also not tell you that I may have to asked you to leave? As you can see I get a lot of pleasure making you scared. But you seemed happy. My bad. I should have jumped at you when you walked in to my room.

Long story short, every mistake you make is another good reason to fire you.

What did I say? That is to help you. To be on your toes. Which I don't know exactly how. But I am glad I could end this conversation with a note of optimism. Somehow.

Lonely Planet

If you look really hard into The Planet, you will see The Narrator. Unfortunately, you can not. Unless you managed to zoom in 500%. Which is impossible. Why? The Planet is only a low res file. But what's the texture of the planet like? Like the cat's tongue. Does it hurt to live on the planet? Yes. Doesn't it make The Narrator temperamental? Yes, but it is also part of the creative process. Does it have anything to do with faith? No. Money? Yes. Will bright colors T shirt change his mood? No. Flowers? No. Puppies? No. Popcorns? Maybe. Will The Planet ever explodes? Yes, when it collides with the giant rainbow. Will it still feel like the cat's tongue? No, the whole planet becomes a Velcro. Can The Narrator ever run away from The Planet? Only if he is strong enough to wrestle the Velcro. Can he hear you? Not if you super poke him. Will anyone ever make this story into a movie? No, but if there's ever gonna be one, The Narrator will only be on set no earlier than 9am. Oily breakfast? Not a chance.

You Are The Only One Who Will Get To Walk Away With A Comment

Hello gentle people. Remember you are here for you. Not for me, not for anyone. Not for The Narrator, who is a moron.

You are here and here alone because you have issues. I know this is difficult. Which is to admit that you have issues. But I congratulate you for doing so.

You are sitting here thinking? What is this fool trying to tell me? Is this a hidden message? Am I fat?

Well, if you are not done with all these bullshitting here, you are more than welcome to contribute to this website, which is also drowning inside the internet. What can you do?

I have decided to let one person to write me comment. Only one. And that's YOU !!

Please do not upload naked pictures with your comment. Unless they are Horses. Or German Potatoes.

The Sunshine Boys vs The Prisoner of 136 Avenue

There is the sun. And below the sun, there live the Sunshine Boys. The Sunshine Boys are lighthearted people. They laugh and poke each other. Sometimes they Super Poke each other, and that makes them fun to be with. You can tell from far that they are unoffensive to people.

But like almost every story, there is the Antagonist: The Prisoner of 136 Avenue. He doesn't like to be Super poked. He doesn't want to have fun. He doesn't want the Sunshine Boys around.

Although The Narrator will like to give you a happy ending. But I am afraid the nature of the story itself is too political to have a happy one.

A Heartbreaking Resignation Letter

Dear ____________,

I didn't get your name. Was it Peter or Olivia. Nevermind. My last day with the Company will be today. I have been waiting for 500 years to tell you this. And tomorrow I can just do things I really want to do. Like watching the rainbow explodes and then go eat thirty two donuts. Shit, that means you would have to stay in the office and put the cameras to sleep.

But thank you to give me enough grouchiness and fire in the belly to carry on with my life. I guess this is what you called the Characther Building.

I will see you if you ever drop by the Rainblow Land. I will get you a good seat. But you have to promise to be less perfect. At least 50 percent. It will be hillarious.

Sincerely,

Dahlia - The Staff with Funny Hair

You Certainly Do Not Know What You Are Talking About

Apparently some of you have suggested The Boy Who Stopped Using His Brain Rots and Turns To A Zombie to attack. Although dumb things said are sometimes true, but not this time. The Narrator does not like to use this site to attack or combat the sleazy people out there. Instead, The Narrator will write this:

The Boy Who Stopped Using His Brain Rots and Turns To A Zombie will stay as calm as a rabbit.

Because rabbits are terrific animal. They have big ears and whiskers. Sometimes they jump and do nice landing. Sometimes they eat up baby rabbits. That's when they get cranky I guess.

The Boy Who Stopped Using His Brain Rots and Turns To A Zombie

There is this person who was told that he could go ahead and quit his job. The reason?

1) He is not good at keeping the camera room at certain temperature.
2) He is nobody's favorite person.

We should not know his name. Who? This person. Perhaps we should call him The Boy Who Stopped Using His Brain Rots And Turns To A Zombie. That is in fact what his boss calls him.

But The Boy Who Stopped Using His Brain Rots and Turns To A Zombie is not panic. He is always prepared for amazing things to happen. Perhaps there is a portal somewhere in the office that might just connect him to somewhere else in the perfect haha world.

I guess the boss can wait.

Cinderella Story

Hey kids, your cute narrator is back after a really long hide out. Nothing too exciting really.

Don't be fooled into believing that this is really going to be a Cinderella story. I am still at the you-know-where phase.

No Time For A Clever Title In A Time to Hide

You probably don't know this yet. But I have ran out of places to hide. Who am I hiding from? I know you are all looking foward to find out who he is. But seriously guys, there is just no clue this time round. Call me a pussy if you like, but it is just so not my style to reveal the bad guy at the very beginning of the story. And folks, no gifts even if you have guessed it right. So please don't do it.

Stop scrolling down to find out who has offended me in the last 6 months. Don't even think about that Back Stabber who back stabbed in the classic back stabbing posture. Don't you think it is way over the top for a back stabber to back stab me time and time again? Wouldn't you feel that I am over-back-stabbed?

I am seriously not saying this for the expectation that you might think I am actually hiding from this back stabber. Do I need to write in such a way to over indulge your silly brain?

Hell there better be no surprise meeting today with this monster that I am running away from. I am hiding in this really nice closet that has access to the internet. If he ever comes in to this really nice closet, I swear to God I'll lose it. Really. I swear. I know I double sweared. But really.

The Donut Ring (Part 2)

I have always pay more for things that I buy. Like the Bluebird watch I had. Which was stolen. And the shoes I am wearing. I buy them out of embarrassment. My whole life is an embarrassment.

The taxi driver helps me to put the yellow case in the trunk. Then we get into the taxi, which really isn't a taxi. It is a sport car in purple color.

"Is this your car?" I clear my throat.

"Ya" says the taxi driver. "Ya,ya" he repeats. He puts the gear into the drive position and steps on the gas. And while he is doing that, he also winks at one of the trolley guys. Like they have some kind of deal. Or maybe even a bet. To bet he could take someone who is willing to pay 70 dollars perhaps. I don't know.

"I work here at the airport" grins the taxi driver. "I take care of the trolleys"

I look at him and suddenly remember what the wink was all about.

"I work for the night shift" he says. "So this is like a part time"

I nod and keep quiet. What do I know anymore? Just bring me safe to the where I am going.

"Where are you from?" he looks over at me. And I quickly raise my eyes on the road. Because he isn't.

"Dumbville" I say and keep my eyes on the traffic.

"Oh Dumbville!" he says. "But you don't sound like you are from Dumville?"

I slow down my thoughts as he is over taking the car in front. "Uhm, I am actually born here."

"Lady driver" he looks over at the car he is over taking. He starts to say something but changes his mind.

He gives his head a little shake. "What do you do?"

I wish I could figure this out. I don't know really. But "Advertising" I say.

"Ah, advertising" he nods. "What are you doing here?"

"I am returning this thing at the back" with my thumb pointing at the trunk.

"What is it?" he looks over at me as if it is my fault not to tell him what it is. I don't know. Or maybe I am just too sensitive after what happened this morning.

Anyway, "Donut Ring" I say. What else could I say? It has to be a Donut Ring.

The Donut Ring (Part 1)

I have some business to take care of up north. Or rather, I have someone else's business to take care of up north. So I took a plane up here. By the time I get out from the arrival hall, there are 17 taxi drivers waving at me. Probably because I am carrying this really yellow yellow case. God. Where is a subtle case when you need one?

"Town? Town?" say the drivers. "60 dollars!"

I put my ears in my pocket and walk away. After several tries to catch up with me, they give up and turn to someone else. "Town? Town? 60 dollars!"

I get out of the airport and light a cigarette. I blow smoke and remember how horrible this morning was. Something about, god, about the donut ring. What is it about the donut ring? God. Where is a normal thing to think about when you need one?

"Hello?" here comes a proffesor. Although he is not. He is a taxi driver. But he dresses well. Just like how I would like to dress when I am his age. You know, the older kind of age.

I say hello and put out my cigarette.

"Where are you going? says the professor, no, the taxi driver.

I put my hands in my pocket. I do that when I feel awkward. "This place called RSVP."
"Do you know where it is?" I continue.

"Ya" he says. And then he repeats again. "Ya, ya"

"60 dollars?" I look at the taxi driver and how well he had ironed his shirt.

"70 dollars" he looks at my yellow case. God. Where is a subtle case when you need one?

But I nod and say okay. I'll pay him 10 dollars for the well ironed shirt.

He Almost Thought He Had Forgotten, But It Came Back to Him

Saturday morning, he walked in his room. He had a plan to tidy up his room. But he was merely walking. After walking around his room for the longest time in his life, he decided to look at old photographs.

Some of the photographs make him feel uncomfortable. And he didn't like that. But he tried to deal with it in a rational manner. Unfortunately, he could not.

He went to the living room and tuned in to some western music. He threw himself on the couch. His eyes were closed. But he could still see the photographs in his head. He looked pale, perhaps. We don't know.

Until then, his life has been okay. College, job, marriage and good lucks. And he knew that too. He knew how these photographs can bring a man down. He does not want that.

To keep himself away from any harm, he reached out to his pants. And we all know in a couple of minutes, his life will be no longer in jeopardy.

You Cannot Assume The Warning Signal is Okay

Thanks to ignoring the stupid machine's warning signal, The Mechanic is now a walking a bad day. Come on, go ahead, call him names. No, break his ribs, rip him apart. You can even try sexually harassing him. That will just make his day a whole lot better.

No?

Oh no. You want to sabotage him? That is just perfect. Make him water mark all the location pictures. It will take no less than a morning to knock him down. And the whole time, you can just stand there and watch the mess you created.

Oh no. You think God forbid? No wait. The Mechanic has never been destroyed completely by water marking location pictures. Why don't you make him do it twice?

Tell The Mechanic that they want the water marks in less opacity. Either way, that will stop him from assuming the warning signal to be okay ever again.

Oh no. You actually want to stab him from his back? And the whole time you are just pretending to be friendly?

Fine, that is just fine. But for crying out loud, do it in the classic stabbing posture !

The Break In (Part 3)

Later that day, the sky went dark. It went dark inside Billy's heart too.

"Well, maybe you would like to keep your window closed next time" said the police officer who perhaps, tried to comfort Billy and his wife.

"Ya, maybe I would love to do that" Billy sighed. He could've sighed harder. But he didn't.

The police officer left the house. Billy and the wife watched the police officer stepped into the car and turned on the engine. And they watched him driving away too. They stood by the window and did not know what to do.

"Can we eat rice balls tonight?" said the wife.

But in Billy's mind, he was grabbing the robber's arm. He caught the robber and the stuffs he took from Billy were slipping out of his hands. Billy would not let go of the robber.

The dinner however, was decided without Billy's consent.

The Break In (Part 2)

It was only a minute since the wife decided not to think anything at all. But somehow it felt longer. The wife changed her mind and decided to do some investigation of her own.

Everything in the house seemed to be where it was. The closets, the shelves and the things on the them just did not seem to be touched. It would be silly to believe that anyone had broken in. But the wife has always been a cynic of her own. She reached out to the huge amount of cash that she has kept in between the books on the shelves. And it wasn't there. She reached out to the other books on the plane above, and the one above the plane above, and it wasn't there too. She panicked, but kept up with her investigation. Next thing she knew was that the husband's camera and his wedding ring were gone too.

It hadn't happened to the wife before. But she figured it was a break in. Traumatized by what she has figured, she called her husband Billy almost instantly. But she did not tell him anything about the break in. "Come home now" she said.

The Break In (Part 1)

The Wife came home from work. Then she started to cook. She cooked the rice but could not decide what to go with the rice. Because she knew that the husband has an absurd appetite. The husband has invented an appetite of his own that even he himself finds it hard to understand. The story could have ended here, but it will not. Because the wife saw shoe print as she was trying to put her brain together with the rice. There wasn't one shoe print. There were others around. The wife stared at them and was very curious. She was thinking why would the husband left shoe prints in the house. The shoe prints led the wife to the kitchen's window, and it was left opened. She stood still at the window. It took some time for the wife to be afraid. And then very afraid. She tried to think but decided not. "Maybe when Billy comes back he will tell me what's going on" so she thought. The Wife closed her eyes and tried not to think anything before the husband is back.

The Empty Space That Filled Up Your Heart

This afternoon, a plane carrying The Sunny Boy crashed into a mountain in Dumbville. There were no survivors. Not even the pilot gets to survived. Nor the co pilot.

The Sunny Boy had the biggest heart ever in Dumbville. It was such a massive heart that could probably fit in the whole damn sun. It doesn't matter who you are or where you from, The Sunny Boy can always save you from anything. He made life feels nice and cute.

The Sunny Boy was like a mother whale. He breast fed us like baby whales and kept us from drowning in the ocean.

Somehow, the world seems a little less safe without The Sunny Boy. To those who can't quite let go of The Sunny Boy, I wish you strength and laser power.

The End of The Boring Fitness Center & Possibly The Beginning of Something Bright & Sunny

Rebecca quits and the fitness center is gone. Unfortunately, in the world of internet, we don't find out how it ended this way. It is fine if you like to think that some really cute hunks accidentally hit the self destruct button and blows up the gym. But the truth is you don't know. And more importantly, you don't want to know. Really. Not even if I beg you to know. Not even if I turn out to be a little girl who can actually shoots laser out of my eyes.

Free Towels To Give Away at Dumbville Fitness Center

Have you ever seen anyone working out at the Dumbville's fitness center? No, you haven't. The fitness center cost The Narrator one good working morning google-ing the internet, plus the mental health to post it before he was caught by his employer. For crying out loud, we even had little children planting christmast trees behind the gym. But no one is using the gym.

If you have secretly hoping The Narrator to shut down the business. You will be disspointed. Because we have just hired Rebecca to give out free towels to those who are joining the gym. Rebecca is a very good looking woman. She has good taste, and she is a heterosexual lesbian. She likes pork ribs and purple color.

The First Fitness Center in Dumbville

Whether you want to slim down to tone up, we are here to help in Dumbville.