And You Are ...Abigail The Sleazy Frog

How much do I know about Abigail The Sleazy Frog? Oh wow. Not a lot. Apparently you are not everybody's favorite. I am sorry. Really. You are lazy, fat, and smell like toilet. And that's not all, you are also sleazy. Wow!

You don't have much of a role to play in this world. Why? I am afraid that's how life has chosen you to be. Don't worry. You can always change your answers to the test and find out what other characters you might be.

But take comfort in the knowledge that you are after all, nice at heart.

What Dumbville Characters Are You?

Congratulations to receive this unbelievably free copy of "Dumbville Characters Test"!
A fabulous test to find out who you really are.

Now you can take half a day off from work to complete the test !

1) It is very, very, very seldom that you know what you want.
2) Wearing long pants is your biggest fear.
3) Do you make enough money?
4) Do you want see a naked mole rat?
5) Can elephants fly?
6) Are you a boy?
7) You would rather trust a dinosaur than a human.
8) You will save a frog and ask nothing in return.
9) Are you aware of what Dumbville characters are you?
10) And you actually spend time thinking about what Dumbville characters you are.

After enjoying a complimentary test, it is time to find out who you are.


Triple Right Click on Your Mouse ------> "SCORE IT!"


Don't worry if the result fails to open! The server might be slow because "What Dumbville Characters Are You" is a popular test among the special people like you. Wow! So quit waiting over your slow computer. Mail your Money Order of $99.90 to Welcome to Dumbville International Ptd Ltd, PO Box 69, Florida 298107, to find out what Dumbville Characters you are before your best friend does !!

And They Say You Can't Direct A TV Commercial With A Degree in Film

Director: Cut! ... Remember what I said?
Talent : What?
Director: Water Water, Blue Blue. So soft and tasty.
Talent : Am I supposed to drink this?
Director: What do you mean..? No. Bite the water! Water water blue blue...so soft
and..
Talent : So do I drink it fast or?
Director: Yes, fast. But if you can, try to imagine little creatures swimming in the
bottle.
Talent : Huh?
Director: Show your frustration. Bite the little creatures. Ok?
Talent : So its like I'm thirsty or?
Director: Roll Tape!
Talent : My hair...
Director: Camera! And Action!
Talent : Is my hair..?
Director: Cut! ... Remember what I said??
Talent : Yeah, but my hair..
Director: No! Bite the water! Water Water Blue Blue. So soft and tasty.

Make Up Artist Walks Up to The Talent.

Director: Don't touch her hair! Roll! Roll! Roll! Action!!

Talent : Gulp...gulp....gulp...gulp...
Director: Bite the water!! Bite the water. Look away! Look away!! Cut! Cut! No! Oh
No Oh! Don't look at me!
Talent : I wasn't looking at you...
Director: Where were you looking at?
Talent : I was looking at the camera.
Director: No no ! Don't look at the camera.
Talent : Where am I suppose to look?
Director: Guys?! Come On! Where's the big bear?!

PAs look at each other in gaze.

Director: Come On guys!! I specifically asked for the big bear! Fuck! Where the fuck
is the big bear? Ashley!!

The Wardrobe Stylist comes up to The Director

Director: I want you to put a bear costume on Dave.

The Key Grip drops his jaw.

The Wardrobe Stylist quickly sews up a bear costume and put it on the key grip.

Director: Remember what I said?
Talent : Water Water Blue Blue.
Director: So soft and tasty. Right?
Talent : Right.
Director: You are a shark. Ok?
Talent : I am a what??
Director: Shark. Very hungry! Imagine the children's feet twitching in the bottle. Eat
them up! Roll! Roll! Roll! Action!
Talent : Gulp Gulp Gulp Gulp....
Director: Yes Yes! Look Look! Who's the big bear?!! Who's the big bear??!! What a
beautiful animal! Cut!

A Sad Boy Story For Feature Film Adaptation

Our hero, this little kid living with his single step mother, has super power. But nobody knows. Not the step mother, not even our hero knows about this. In fact, we are not completely sure if our hero has super power. We assume he has it. Partly because he survives a horrible nuclear accident. And partly because it makes the story more marketable for a feature film adaptation.

There is this sad backstory for our hero. The single step mother is actually someone with no leadership and grows moustache. Preferably to be played by a drag. What dramatic event turned this step mother into a half man half woman thing with zero leadership monster? It doesn't matter. Really. Because the sadder part of the backstory is that our hero has a step brother. And everybody thinks he has the super power. And he also has a Macbook Pro. This has turned every aspect of our hero's life into a really dark comedy.

Will this be a story about tolerence? Or will this be a story about vengence? When will our hero discover his super power? Or will this turned out to be a flop after all?

The Crazy Elephants & Other Stories

The other day, you don't know exactly when, the elephants were just crazy. They wanted to go out to the other side of the fence. Does the peanuts taste better on the other side of the fence? You don't know. So you tore down the fences and told the elephants to go. The crazy elephants did the pop corn jumps on the ground. Perhaps they were happy. Perhaps they were not. Perhaps they were feeling both at the same time. The elephants then went full speed and dissapeared over the mountains.

One of the crazy elephants text you on the mobile the next day.

" WooHoo !!! I ate four bowls of rice !"

You felt glad for the crazy elephants. You continued climbing up on the ladder. It turns out that the bulbs are harder to change than you imagined. And then you dropped your test pen. "Shit" You said, but only in your head.

True Story, 1984, 136 degree off Lonely Planet, Wednesday

This story concerns a huge battleship and the little people who live in the battleship. Which happens to be, as it stated on the title, true. Where is the battleship heading to is a planet they called The Lonely Planet.

But more than anything else, what all the little people wanted is just a better breakfast. The Captain of all the little people, however will never understand. He will not understand the crew's longing for Pancakes and Maple Syrup, serve with Orange Juice, and perhaps even a half boiled egg. Thinking that the pancakes will be too much of a burden for the battleship to carry on to The Lonely Planet. And sadly, supplement capsules with zero nutrition is what the little people get. You should take pride in the things you do, says the Captain. You are learning at least. The little people would wonder when the Captain says things like that.

Some have jumped off from the battleship. Some have not. And some just couldn't make up their minds. Could this be a nightmare that all the little people are having it simultaneously? No, because I've just told you that this is a true story.

Dumbville Closed Book Midterm Exam

The Exam will have the duration of 4 minutes. You are only allowed to use calculators in rainbow colors.


Part I

a) If a mass object tosses a coin 6 times and gets 6 heads. What is the probability of a career change for the mass object ? (note: keep your diagram simple)



b) And would you say the coin is jinxed? (yes/no)


Part II

a) If a mass object, is dropped into the surface of the earth at the speed of 50 m/s. Approx. how much force is needed to make people to believe in zero gravity?







Tips: The mass object has difficulty to commit to a diet.




Part III (Bonus)

a) Toss a coin 3 times and find out what is the probability of you passing the mid term. (note: tossing more than 3 times will lose marks)












Good Luck!

When Your Boss Decided To Nag On Your Blog

You said there was no broom in the office. I saw four in the pantry. I worked hard trying to bring you to the top of the food chain. But no. You have to lie about the broom. You did't even bother to reword the word broom. In fact, you could have called'em the hairy things and I would have been less disgusted.

Remember when I called you into my room? I was actually planning to wash my car. But no. I gave up washing my car because I had to talk to you. And what did I tell you? I said I was going to be very frank didn't I? I said I have the feeling right from the beginning that you are not going to make it. And God am I not right? You don't even pretend to work when I am around. And I said if I could I do it all over, I would have done a better background check on you before you are hired. And what did I say after that? Huh? No! Before I told you about my work anxiety.

Oh did I tell you about my weird dream? The one when I took out the trash and wash my car? And after I washed my car and I took out the trash again. I find it very frustrating when my own people do not dream like the way I do.

Did I also not tell you that I may have to asked you to leave? As you can see I get a lot of pleasure making you scared. But you seemed happy. My bad. I should have jumped at you when you walked in to my room.

Long story short, every mistake you make is another good reason to fire you.

What did I say? That is to help you. To be on your toes. Which I don't know exactly how. But I am glad I could end this conversation with a note of optimism. Somehow.

Lonely Planet

If you look really hard into The Planet, you will see The Narrator. Unfortunately, you can not. Unless you managed to zoom in 500%. Which is impossible. Why? The Planet is only a low res file. But what's the texture of the planet like? Like the cat's tongue. Does it hurt to live on the planet? Yes. Doesn't it make The Narrator temperamental? Yes, but it is also part of the creative process. Does it have anything to do with faith? No. Money? Yes. Will bright colors T shirt change his mood? No. Flowers? No. Puppies? No. Popcorns? Maybe. Will The Planet ever explodes? Yes, when it collides with the giant rainbow. Will it still feel like the cat's tongue? No, the whole planet becomes a Velcro. Can The Narrator ever run away from The Planet? Only if he is strong enough to wrestle the Velcro. Can he hear you? Not if you super poke him. Will anyone ever make this story into a movie? No, but if there's ever gonna be one, The Narrator will only be on set no earlier than 9am. Oily breakfast? Not a chance.

You Are The Only One Who Will Get To Walk Away With A Comment

Hello gentle people. Remember you are here for you. Not for me, not for anyone. Not for The Narrator, who is a moron.

You are here and here alone because you have issues. I know this is difficult. Which is to admit that you have issues. But I congratulate you for doing so.

You are sitting here thinking? What is this fool trying to tell me? Is this a hidden message? Am I fat?

Well, if you are not done with all these bullshitting here, you are more than welcome to contribute to this website, which is also drowning inside the internet. What can you do?

I have decided to let one person to write me comment. Only one. And that's YOU !!

Please do not upload naked pictures with your comment. Unless they are Horses. Or German Potatoes.

The Sunshine Boys vs The Prisoner of 136 Avenue

There is the sun. And below the sun, there live the Sunshine Boys. The Sunshine Boys are lighthearted people. They laugh and poke each other. Sometimes they Super Poke each other, and that makes them fun to be with. You can tell from far that they are unoffensive to people.

But like almost every story, there is the Antagonist: The Prisoner of 136 Avenue. He doesn't like to be Super poked. He doesn't want to have fun. He doesn't want the Sunshine Boys around.

Although The Narrator will like to give you a happy ending. But I am afraid the nature of the story itself is too political to have a happy one.

A Heartbreaking Resignation Letter

Dear ____________,

I didn't get your name. Was it Peter or Olivia. Nevermind. My last day with the Company will be today. I have been waiting for 500 years to tell you this. And tomorrow I can just do things I really want to do. Like watching the rainbow explodes and then go eat thirty two donuts. Shit, that means you would have to stay in the office and put the cameras to sleep.

But thank you to give me enough grouchiness and fire in the belly to carry on with my life. I guess this is what you called the Characther Building.

I will see you if you ever drop by the Rainblow Land. I will get you a good seat. But you have to promise to be less perfect. At least 50 percent. It will be hillarious.

Sincerely,

Dahlia - The Staff with Funny Hair

You Certainly Do Not Know What You Are Talking About

Apparently some of you have suggested The Boy Who Stopped Using His Brain Rots and Turns To A Zombie to attack. Although dumb things said are sometimes true, but not this time. The Narrator does not like to use this site to attack or combat the sleazy people out there. Instead, The Narrator will write this:

The Boy Who Stopped Using His Brain Rots and Turns To A Zombie will stay as calm as a rabbit.

Because rabbits are terrific animal. They have big ears and whiskers. Sometimes they jump and do nice landing. Sometimes they eat up baby rabbits. That's when they get cranky I guess.

The Boy Who Stopped Using His Brain Rots and Turns To A Zombie

There is this person who was told that he could go ahead and quit his job. The reason?

1) He is not good at keeping the camera room at certain temperature.
2) He is nobody's favorite person.

We should not know his name. Who? This person. Perhaps we should call him The Boy Who Stopped Using His Brain Rots And Turns To A Zombie. That is in fact what his boss calls him.

But The Boy Who Stopped Using His Brain Rots and Turns To A Zombie is not panic. He is always prepared for amazing things to happen. Perhaps there is a portal somewhere in the office that might just connect him to somewhere else in the perfect haha world.

I guess the boss can wait.

Cinderella Story

Hey kids, your cute narrator is back after a really long hide out. Nothing too exciting really.

Don't be fooled into believing that this is really going to be a Cinderella story. I am still at the you-know-where phase.