Contestant # 2

Poor Algiby couldn't afford a camera. So he drew us what he sees Dahlia in 20 years time. Which I must say is awesome. This is probably the closest thing that is ever going to look like Dahlia. It is filled with so much textures and romantic power that I could almost reach out to touch the chicken. And when I touch the chicken I can feel the pain of a life time. No, in fact , it is the pain of a life time x 2.

I can understand how some people would not have appreciate the power of the drawing. That is because they think all pictures should be drawn with cheeses and cupcakes.

Well done Algiby De Van Goyah.

Contestant # 1

Jorge Jusus sent in the Dahlia he sees in the next 20 years. It is amazing how Jorge managed to keep the pony in the picture. Well done, Jorge! And hell is Dahlia not sort of pretty when she has her chin down?

Perhaps it is not your best interest to know that it is actually against the Dumbville's Law to masturbate to the pictures of the contestants during the competition.

The Number One VCR In The World

Have I told you about this VCR player where you can fast forward to see Dahlia in 20 years time? No? Well then, you would really have to play dumb and assume there is this really really cool VCR player that could seriously fast forward anything in the planet when you hit the imaginary fast forward button.

What do you see?

PS: Please hit the record button and send the tape to The Dumbville's Imaginary Film Festival. Nominated films will not be screened. Do put in the effort to make a really bad one.

Well Well Well - part 5

Wild reports about Dahlia's life in the well are coming in from all over the place . One source says that Dahlia is in fact a cat, because she is caught throwing up fur balls. Another report says Dahlia was actually framed to trip and fall into the well because the world has ran out of space for cup cakes.

But the most rediculous report I've ever read was that Dahlia just spent $378 on a 60G refurbished iPod. And it is black in color.

Is Dahlia going to believe in iPod? or did the Devil tempt her? Does it make any sense?

Well Well Well - part 4

Dahlia isn't quite dead yet. I do not know what kept her alive. Maybe someone above likes her, and by someone above I do not mean the Fairy Godmother or the Queen of Langkasuka, I mean The Janitor who works around the corner. I don't remember his name. It sounds something like Frank. Or Lee. Or Jelly Fish.

I have reliable sources telling me that The Janitor has been dumping cup cakes that have gone bad into the well. Besides the cup cakes, The Janitor has also threw up himself into the well not once, but seven times. Some say this makes the cup cakes taste even better.

Dahlia has now developed a taste for expired cup cakes, and with vomitees on top occasionally. She isn't exactly looking forward to be out of the well. In fact, she isn't looking forward to anything. It would be nice if she could make herself to believe in things like God, or reincarnation, or even iPod. But she couldn't.

Well Well Well - part 3

17 months have passed since Dahlia tripped and fell into the well. We may assume that she has already reincarnated into some kind of creature like Barbie Doll, Melody Bird, or Killer Bee. Having said that however, we would have to first assume that Dahlia is already dead. But is she?

You don't know. Because The Author is slick and mean. Perhaps The Author just doesn't want Dahlia to have an easy death.

I do not know what weapon can we use to fight the mean Author. But does it worth a hell lot to save Dahlia? I doubt we would even get paid fighting the mean Author.

'A clever person solves a problem. A wise person avoids it' - Albert Einstein

Well Well Well - part 2

Dahlia is in the well, hoping. She is also whispering at the same time. In fact, she is whispering her hope, hoping that someone could hear her whispering. But unfortunately no one did. She wondered why she never made any funny noises instead, to get the attention. But the thought quickly went away as she realized that she hasn't put any make up on. It will be really silly to get the attention when she just wants to be left alone in the well.

Dahlia is saddened by this. But she couldn't afford to cry. Because she doesn't have any tissue with her. She also doesn't have her handkerchief, yellow ribbon, or iPod if that matters to you.

I honestly don't know how or when or what could get Dahlia out of the well. I thought maybe a face transplant could work. But that could easily cost us $5000.

If you genuinely want to help Dahlia, we encourage you to write in and give her your support.

Well Well Well

It seems like it has been a year without any news from Dahlia. I can imagine how some of us could even not remember who Dahlia is.

My only explanation is that she might have somehow tripped and fell into a well. I don't know if anyone is going to save her. Because it seems like a decent punishment for her on cheating on you. Although it could be fun if we get to choose between public canning and falling into a well. But it isn't like we have a choice here.

There are times when people just need to accept that their best times are behind them. I wish you luck, Dahlia.

Dalia is Cheating On You

If this Dalia character is beginning to grow on you, then you possibly have the brain of a bird. And by the brain of a bird, I mean you don't have one. Nope, not even the size of a peanut.

If you hadn't already suspected that Dalia is cheating on you, look at this picture.

The Petition

If you are not sick of me talking about Dalia, and have been waiting to find out more about Dalia and her finger, you'll have to wait a little longer. Apparently the finger that was cut is healing and there's really nothing much to be talked about.

I say we get a petition going around to get Dalia to cut herself again. What do you say?

Dalia's Finger Licking Good

I know how some of you are sick of me talking about Dalia. But for crying out loud, look at Dalia's cut finger here. I can't even tell how bad is the cut from this angle. Can you?

NOTE: I don't think it is fair to call somebody's finger a chicken leg just because it shows up on a cutting board.

What Are We Going To Do With Dalia?

Dalia cut herself today. But unfortunately you have probably cut yourself many times before, so I am not going to tell you how exactly Dalia cut herself today, and how she managed to stop herself from bleeding to death. And also because It will be more fun watching naked people making out over the internet than than me going over it again what you have probably experienced 89 times.

I like Dalia, but we can't talk about her every time she cuts her finger. We need heroes who have strength, PR skills, intelligence and possibly know a bit of carpentry. Certainly, the lack of heroes in the stories is what causing this blog to appear frozen like.

Maybe it is time to bring in another somebody to bring this blog to another level. Or maybe we should just watch porn.

What Would You Tell Us If You Were A Dust?

The sound of the vacuum cleaner is getting closer than ever. You know there is less than a split second of time to finish up what you are planning to write. But you also know that you needed less than a lesser split second of time to plan what you are planning to write.

Having sad that however, at the back of your head, you are also annoyed that you might have to explain why would the sound of the vacuum cleaner getting ever closer would stop you from writing this.

But since you are pressured and knowing that the less than a split second of time is getting lesser than ever, it will be really stupid to.... no wait....

ohhh........shit..........ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh....

ohhhhhh...........no...................god..........please.............

Melody

Melody is a table lamp. She is capable of shinning, if say, is given the chance to. But was she given any chance at all? Yes. Did she screw it up? Unfortunately she did. Why did she screw it up? Did she screw it up on purpose? Why would a table lamp purposely screwed up something when she was given the chance to shine? Is the table lamp who purposely screwed up somehing when she was given the chance to called Melody? Yes, indeed we just covered that in the first line, had you concentrate on reading this.

Melody is sitting beside the hallway of a place that shall not be named. Melody is exposed to strong winds and rain at times, but is still holding herself together.

If you willing to give Melody a second chance, genuinely willing to give her a second chance, you are welcome to write in.

By the way, there is also an old mattress called Gabriel. But that's another story.

Happy Jolly JoJo's Day

Jolly JoJo has a throat infection. It isn't a 'sore throat' as some of the scholars have claimed. It is in fact, a throat infection that could have continously infected other parts of her body like her knees, legs, fingers, and tounges. Although she only has one, but it could be worse if she had two tounges, that both of them could be infected. Fortunately, she doesn't have the extra tounge to be infected.

Like some of the scholars have predicted, Jolly JoJo is on her way to recover from her throat infection. But does Jolly JoJo herself really want a speedy recovery?

Will she give up the chance to be sympathized by the people around her? Will she not wants to be studied by the scholars? Will she rather not be excused as an under achiever at work because of her handcicap?

If she really wants to get well, genuinely wants to get well, she's going to have to go against her own wish and drinks 8 galons of water a day.

And so it comes to the moment to cast our minds back. To bow our heads 90 degree off the ground, and look up to the sky and say "Be Well, Jolly JoJo"

The Pink Elephant And Her Bad Day

The Pink Elephant got up really early this morning. But her luck was bad. She missed two buses, and the third one she took broke down. So she had to walk from one end to the other. It would be easier if she could just take a cab, but she didn't. It isn't particularly a good means of transportation for a Pink Elephant after all.

If you can tell a Pink Elephant what to do in real life, what would you say?

Oh by the way, the Pink Elephant is still walking from one end to the other. Cabs are passing by her one after another.

It isn't Going To Be Easy For Boo Boo

It isn't easy. All these while, Boo Boo has the strange feeling that it isn't going to be easy. And he has been right. He had sighed, but the strange sansation that it isn't going to be easy hasn't gone away. So he sighed harder, and it did not help.

But the thing that pisses most of the us off is, he has not done anything in particular to make it easier for us to understand what isn't going to be easy.

When The Sun Ejaculates Its Last Bit Of Ray

You can't tell exactly when. But the sun ejaculated its last bit of ray. You wonder is this a time for changes. Because things are not getting any brighter. Although the only flashlight you have is in your pocket, but the pants are so tight that you could hardly pull it out. It is then you realized that you should have eaten less before the sun ejaculated its last bit of ray.

A new chapter is starting. Will it be a happy one?

The darkest hours come before the dawn. But before it comes, you wonder why not play with yourself a little? And you are only going to waste two minutes of your readers' life that they will never ever get it back again.

The No Seating Dilemma

Daren, 8 months before he turns 26, has found a new job. He wouldn’t say what the job is, but he can tell you that there aren’t any seats for him to sit at work. He can sit if he wants to. But he is too shy to do that.

So what he does is he pretends to walk around the office. Every time he spots someone become aware of him standing awkward in the office, he goes to the pantry and fills himself a glass of water. And that makes him consumes 15 glasses of water a day. 7 more than an average human being is suppose to drink.

Daren doesn’t want to drink more than an average human being. He is trying to find a better way to walk away from his standing awkwardness in the office. He has tried going to the bathroom. But the bathroom is constantly not available. He has also tried talking to the cleaning lady. But there really isn’t anything in common between the two of them. They have talked about the weather, the refrigerator, and the alley cats behind the work place. Now Daren has ran out of topics to start a conversation.

We invite you to write in, to give Daren some ideas to liberate his standing dilemma in the office.

If the above information would at any moment gives you the impression that the job is crap, I am most apologetic and would be in no doubt to tell you that Daren loves his new job. He really does. No, I mean it. Really.

You And A Day Called Wednesday

You made yourself a gigantic cup of tea. You are trying to make yourself to pee as much as you could. For some odd reason, you think you are falling sick. But you are not completely sure of it. You can never be sure of anything. Because nobody can.

You are drinking the gigantic cup of tea and you know you have to write this fast. For some really odd reason, you are also sharing the desk with 36 people. It will be good to finish up right now. Because if someone catches you writing this, they will be mad at you. You don't want people to be mad at you. Do you?

The day is long. Life is crap. And you are fat.