What Is Wrong With Frank?

Have I told you about Melissa? The cat that lives with the ex-ice cream scooper two blocks down Granville. No? Maybe you were fooling around with me then. Well, fine! I didn’t think you were like them. Guess I was wrong. Anyway, I just found out that Melissa has left me a little note on my doorstep that says:

Dear Mindy,

I am hungry. I haven’t been eating since Frank gaffer taped something pink and furry on my tail. Although I’ve been chasing my tail to find out what it is, I could only assume that it is something pink and furry. I am afraid it is now beyond hope to find out what it is.

Frank chuckles every time he sees me. It really pisses me off. I tried asking the fishes but they were all hiding behind the rocks. It was then I realized it was their mating season. In the end, I have come to you because I know Frank likes you, and would certainly not pretend like no one’s at home when someone like you knock on the door.

It will be very nice of you if you can just come over and spray me pink. Because that is the only way to make that something pink and furry looks disappeared. It will also be nice if you can bring some cat food with you. If you are in the mating season yourself, don’t bother to come in, just leave the stuffs at the porch. Unless you consider Frank your mating partner.

I look forward seeing you here. Thank you, I appreciate it.

Love
Melissa

P/S : Please try to keep this matter as quiet as possible.

This is Frank’s handwriting. I recognized it right away. I find it hard to believe, Frank, who used to scoop me the ice cream that nearly killed me, has plotted to kill me in such a way that Melissa would be scapegoated in the end. What is wrong with Frank?